Culture Shock?!?

I never thought I would ever be the type of person to experience culture shock, but it can, in fact, happen to any and everyone in it's own special way :)

Personally, I have come to realize that I like to take a lot of things in- what people say, how people think or feel, different environments, etc etc etc and this includes how I feel and how I think most of the time.

Garey, a faculty member at Mason who helped us set up the internship logistics while in South Africa, also gave up many days of his vacation to make sure we were getting acclamated to life in South Africa. I'd like to think that we have been a very nice enhancement of his vacation :)

Sadly enough, our last day with Garey came at, what seemed, a sudden abrupt. We were just ending a long day with community members and students at the university, when we were taken to dinner, which Garey treated us to. At this "end of our time" dinner, he really gave us a long spiel about pushing ourselves out of our "Americaness," which I guess could be comfort zone for simplicity.

He noticed in just a few short days how we have already stayed safe, whether it was talking about things in the US like school or work and how we often stay together rather than go off and talk to individuals on our own. "Integrating into this culture," as he says, sounded easier than put into action! I was actually very shocked when he told us we were playing it safe, because I felt like for me to be experiencing jetlag, new food, new people, new places, and a new home for a month, I was doing pretty darn good for myself! I actually could feel myself getting upset!

Then I began to think, was this what culture shock felt like? Of course, I heard the term culture shock in class, but never imagined ME to actually experience it....What does it feel like?? I guess this was it! Garey shared observations that he personally saw with me as well, like how when things happen, I will just smile but it's obvious that there is something else going on with me underneath. He even mentioned how sometimes he can't read me!

I have heard of this before, but I did not realize how apparent it was. Now that all these new things were happening, I was definitely enjoying myself, but I never gave myself a chance to actually process what was happening.

I do not have a problem addressing issues or if I am not comfortable with something, but I have noticed that if I don't have time to process how I feel, I will cover up not knowing with a smile for the moment. Not sure if that makes sense, but when I tried explaining this to them, I felt like an idiot! Like, "you're a 21 year old woman who doesn't know how she feels?!?" The more I think about it though, the more it makes sense....

When it comes to wearing my emotions on my sleeves, I guess I really don't as much as I think I do, and that's mainly because I don't process how I am feeling when things are happening; I'll tuck the situation in the back of my mind to process later...but then I don't process it later! I've gotten so used to going going going and doing doing doing or worrying more about how other people are feeling, that I simply don't take the time to stop and think, "Sarina, how are you feeling at this very moment? What are your thoughts on what someone just said?

Even within a week's time, I have realized that my experience of culture shock is only helping me to challenge my own manuerisms in this new culture and in my own. The more I am being pushed outside of myself, my culture, and "world," the more I can integrate into this new culture and connect with those that I encounter during my time here.